Archive for April, 2008

Lecture on Love

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

(when don’t I lecture? News flash: never.)

What I have found…

(no big scientific study to back me up, though)

…is that we love anyway.

In spite of ourselves. In spite of our rules. In spite of society.

Our hearts know what we want.

We turn them off and listen to Dear Abby, Dr. Ruth or whatever expert.

Hearts are honest. And omniscient. They know.

Perhaps hearts don’t make practical or economic sense, but they make great emotional sense. If we listen.

We follow the heart’s siren song anyway, despite our rules and regulations.

I don’t think we can really help it.

Instinct drives us more than anything.

And I think that is honest; not bad or weak or selfish.

Just honest.

And it has a virtue all to its own.

It’s a good thing we love.

And perhaps even better we don’t really choose who we love.

I think we love them because we need them. But that is another lecture…
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

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Bodies: The Bane of Existence

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Bodies have always fascinated me since society is so uptight about them and since a child, I was taught never to refer to or acknowledge any anatomy including knees (the Catholic side of sex ed).

So I live in a world of breasts and butts (I love saying butt; it makes me feel powerful and liberated: just to say it), shoulders (oh, do I love shoulders), and thighs (oh, thighs are intriguing and so directional).

Elbows, even: fascinating, and un-understood creatures. Wrists, oh I like them. Fingers are so figurative.

Toes are basically ugly, stunted sentries standing on guard for reason to be, well, standing or walking. But they matter and they have feeling, and without them we would be cursed.

Bodies are fun! Bodies are blessed.

Most people hate their own (body), and I think that is so sad.

Why as a society are we so screwed up? Our bodies did not do anything to us (although I have an argument to pick with my small intestine for deciding pasta is past-tense for me, gluten-intolerance be damned. Beer, too, as I lately have had to recognize against my own Irish will.).

We, as a society, are peverse in what we will recognize and admire and what we will care for.

We love to look at good bodies, but the hell if we will take care of our own.

People rate health as their number 1 priority, and yet trash their bodies the first chance they can (Burger King 2-for-1 sales have killed people, seriously!).

Goon that I am, I am fascinated by it all.

The self-hate, the celebrity / porno worship (after all, the Jennifer Aniston kick is not so far removed from the Ginger Lynn fixation).

We hate ourselves. We want to be someone, anyone else.

I am not immune.

I read powerful writers, and I am dismayed I have not progressed as well as I imagined I would have.

I would take Lucia Perillo’s broken body for her captivating mind and for her lashing, hilarious tongue. She can have my legs, arms, and torso if I may just have her head.

Her head alone.

But to communicate like she can…

To say the things she says.
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Vestige

Sunday, April 13th, 2008
Etymology:
Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin vestigium footstep, footprint, track, vestige
Date:
15th century

1 a (1): a trace, mark, or visible sign left by something (as an ancient city or a condition or practice) vanished or lost (2): the smallest quantity or trace b: footprint 12: a bodily part or organ that is small and degenerate or imperfectly developed in comparison to one more fully developed in an earlier stage of the individual, in a past generation, or in closely related forms

Even the smallest traces of a loved one are invaluable, any physical reminder they were once part of us.

A photo, a lock of hair, a tooth, a gold filling.

It was part of them, and therefore part of us.

I don’t know why we savor such mementos.

I hoard my mother’s handwriting.

She does not like phones, will not email but will send letters now and then.

I save them.

They are a connection to her.

When I see her penmanship, I can see her skin and hear her voice. I smell her sweetness.

It’s like removing time and distance. And by saving, I somehow think I can.
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Reeling

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Straight for the sky
Where birds fly free
And clouds know no bounds
With room for even me

The heavens’ endless space
Entice a turbulent rise
Barely grounded anymore
More open than I realize
- Mary O. Fumento, 2006

Soliloquy

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Silent was the voice
Booming in the head
Shattering all my hope
Filling me with dread
Screaming in self-denial
Shouting words of hate
Erasing all composure
Reducing me to fate
- Mary O. Fumento, 1999

Book With A Buckle

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

The cover was leather-bound
Holding the contents tight
The pages worn with worry
From many a restless night

When words were only comfort
And confidence held in hand
Paper an unjudging confessor
A passive friend to understand

That life is a complicated maze
Of choices, decisions, their toll
Of purpose, meaning, definition
Pages of a diary of written full

So very like the depths of heart
Not secrets so much concealed
As dreams, wants, and feelings
Carved into person, and revealed
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Forgone

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Like an amputee
The limb is gone
And it has been

But the rest of me
Still expects it to be
There where it was

I must catch up
To its absence
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Agape

Monday, April 7th, 2008

Tongue-tied
For how I stared,
Devouring you
With my eyes.

No words
Would have prevented
My invasive glance
And the terms it took.

Mind-tied
For all the love I felt.
Memorizing you left
My heart opened wide.
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Agape: wide open; being in a state of wonder.

Agapism professes that love (or “agape”) should be the sole ultimate value and that all other values are derived from it, or that the sole moral imperative is to love. Theological agapism holds that our love of God is expressed by loving our fellow man. As the ethics of love, agapism indicates that we should do the most loving thing in each situation, letting love determine our obligation rather than rules.  Alternatively, given a set of rules, agapism indicates to follow those rules which produce the most love.

Recklessly Irresponsible

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

It’s because I cared
If not
I never would have tried

I would have shown
No effort
Reckless, but sure

So very much at stake
And then
Irresponsible, of course

The reverse continues
I care
And therefore I cannot

For so much matters
And I
Simply step aside
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Conversion

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

Looked into what I knew was real
Bound by what I already believed
I stared into the face of truth
And recognized none of what was me
- Mary O. Fumento, 2000