Mary Fumento

(when don’t I lecture? News flash: never.)

What I have found…

(no big scientific study to back me up, though)

…is that we love anyway.

In spite of ourselves. In spite of our rules. In spite of society.

Our hearts know what we want.

We turn them off and listen to Dear Abby, Dr. Ruth or whatever expert.

Hearts are honest. And omniscient. They know.

Perhaps hearts don’t make practical or economic sense, but they make great emotional sense. If we listen.

We follow the heart’s siren song anyway, despite our rules and regulations.

I don’t think we can really help it.

Instinct drives us more than anything.

And I think that is honest; not bad or weak or selfish.

Just honest.

And it has a virtue all to its own.

It’s a good thing we love.

And perhaps even better we don’t really choose who we love.

I think we love them because we need them. But that is another lecture…
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

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Bodies have always fascinated me since society is so uptight about them and since a child, I was taught never to refer to or acknowledge any anatomy including knees (the Catholic side of sex ed).

So I live in a world of breasts and butts (I love saying butt; it makes me feel powerful and liberated: just to say it), shoulders (oh, do I love shoulders), and thighs (oh, thighs are intriguing and so directional).

Elbows, even: fascinating, and un-understood creatures. Wrists, oh I like them. Fingers are so figurative.

Toes are basically ugly, stunted sentries standing on guard for reason to be, well, standing or walking. But they matter and they have feeling, and without them we would be cursed.

Bodies are fun! Bodies are blessed.

Most people hate their own (body), and I think that is so sad.

Why as a society are we so screwed up? Our bodies did not do anything to us (although I have an argument to pick with my small intestine for deciding pasta is past-tense for me, gluten-intolerance be damned. Beer, too, as I lately have had to recognize against my own Irish will.).

We, as a society, are peverse in what we will recognize and admire and what we will care for.

We love to look at good bodies, but the hell if we will take care of our own.

People rate health as their number 1 priority, and yet trash their bodies the first chance they can (Burger King 2-for-1 sales have killed people, seriously!).

Goon that I am, I am fascinated by it all.

The self-hate, the celebrity / porno worship (after all, the Jennifer Aniston kick is not so far removed from the Ginger Lynn fixation).

We hate ourselves. We want to be someone, anyone else.

I am not immune.

I read powerful writers, and I am dismayed I have not progressed as well as I imagined I would have.

I would take Lucia Perillo’s broken body for her captivating mind and for her lashing, hilarious tongue. She can have my legs, arms, and torso if I may just have her head.

Her head alone.

But to communicate like she can…

To say the things she says.
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008

Etymology:

Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin vestigium footstep, footprint, track, vestige

Date:

15th century

1 a (1): a trace, mark, or visible sign left by something (as an ancient city or a condition or practice) vanished or lost (2): the smallest quantity or trace b: footprint 12: a bodily part or organ that is small and degenerate or imperfectly developed in comparison to one more fully developed in an earlier stage of the individual, in a past generation, or in closely related forms

Even the smallest traces of a loved one are invaluable, any physical reminder they were once part of us.

A photo, a lock of hair, a tooth, a gold filling.

It was part of them, and therefore part of us.

I don’t know why we savor such mementos.

I hoard my mother’s handwriting.

She does not like phones, will not email but will send letters now and then.

I save them.

They are a connection to her.

When I see her penmanship, I can see her skin and hear her voice. I smell her sweetness.

It’s like removing time and distance. And by saving, I somehow think I can.
- Mary O. Fumento, 2008